Making It Easier To Hop On the Meal Train

How planning ahead can help you bless others without your day completely falling apart

For the Meal-Train-Cautious

This is a rare how-to post from me, for any of you who, when you hear of someone who is grieving, ill, recovering, overwhelmed, or sleep-deprived, think: I’d like to make them a meal, but maybe also immediately afterward think: But can I do it? Do I really have any time to do that?¹ I’m here to pass along a system that has made it smoother for me.

This was inspired by

Liturgy in the Home with Maria

’s post on how to care for a pregnant or postpartum mother. It’s what I wish I had had available to me when I graduated from college and finally had a bit of spare money and cooking skill, which I wanted to use to help those in need of an extra meal.

If you grew up in some tight-knit community where these things are just caught by example, you don’t need this post, but please comment with your tips. If you, like me, learned these things over time by giving and receiving meals, also comment with your tips. If you, like my former self, want to be able to hop on the meal trains with a little more levity, read on!

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Pulled pork dinner, mentioned below. It actually ended up feeding three families (including mine), because I forgot I had signed up for a postpartum meal delivery the same day.

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Plan Your Options

Prepare yourself, we’ve got an outline incoming:

1. Today, or, before you decide to give anyone a meal: Get out a piece of paper. Better yet, designate a binder to be your homemaking binder, and put the paper in there. On this paper, write down a list of your most beloved/best-tasting meals, which are also suitable for delivery and reheat. Maybe you have two dishes, maybe you have ten. It’s fine. Leave a few lines of space after each one.

   1. If you’re not sure what’s a good idea, start with dishes that go in a casserole pan. Here are some examples from my list:

      1. Lasagna bake

      2. Enchiladas

      3. Oven-baked macaroni and cheese and chicken

      4. Hot ham and cheese sliders

      5. Pulled pork sandwiches

   2. Next, think of soups. I find that soups are, admittedly, not always the easiest to receive when little children are involved, but they are particularly comforting in times of sickness.

      1. Chicken and veggie soup (I use potatoes to prevent the noodle-disintegration dilemma)

      2. Creamy hamburger and potato soup

      3. Beanless beef chili

      4. Italian sausage stew

2. Now, go back to the top of the list. Next to each meal, list one or two sides.

   1. Whole fruits and veggies are great, but slicing ahead of time makes it more likely that someone will actually eat the food, instead of just staring at it and thinking, Can anyone even finish a whole apple in one sitting? The truth is, nobody in the meal-train-recipient categories is likely to sit through eating an apple without having to abandon it for some reason. Sliced fruit is a blessing.²

   2. Bread is a great side, in my opinion.³ Homemade or not, dinner rolls or a french loaf are a huge gift to a family with young children, especially. Lots of buttered bread can get wary children through a couple of unfamiliar meals.

   3. I don’t consider salad a necessary component of a meal. However, I think it’s nice when people throw in a salad mix bag for me. I never purchase those for myself because I know it’s more expensive than making my own salad. But, hey, someone thinks I’m worth a whole extra dollar for some croutons and craisins? Maybe I could learn something here.

3. Next, go back to the top of the list again, and jot down for each meal any unique ingredients that you might not always have in the pantry, and the main meat cut. This helps you on shopping day.

   1. Lasagna bake: ricotta, parmesan, ground beef, Italian sausage

   2. Chili: extra bag of shredded cheese, sour cream, ground beef

   3. Pulled pork: baked beans, chips, pork shoulder

4. Now, make a final run through the list from top to bottom. This time, write down what type of containers you need in order to deliver the meal.

   1. Disposable is always preferable.

   2. For example, for a pulled pork dinner I would write:

      1. Pulled pork — 8x8 foil

      2. Baked beans and green beans — 8x8 foil, split

      3. Fresh fruit, sliced — foil loaf pan or tupperware

5. As an addendum to the meal list, jot down any type of snacks or treats you might want to include. This is bonus territory if you’re a mom with young children or tight on money. Yes, it’s really nice to receive some breakfast, snacks, or dessert,⁴ but let’s be real here: time and financial resources are not unlimited. If you’re tight on these resources, focus on making someone a tasty, nutritious dish that will last a couple of meals. Additionally, I keep finding more young families who treat fresh fruit as a dessert, so you might already be providing it without realizing it.

6. Now your list is complete! The last step in preparation is to acquire the containers you’ll need for most of your meals. Pick up a 5-pack of the sizes you want next time you are at the store. Buy them on sale around the holidays. Stow them away for future use. Also, consider whether you want to stock up on some paper plates or bowls to include in your meal delivery.

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Get to Work

You’re prepared with a plan. You’re sent a meal train link, you hear a prayer offered at church for someone in a hard spot, or you see a fellow mom looking a bit…weathered. Now, it’s time to get to work. It’s going to be so much easier this time.

1. First, resolve that whatever you make for the person in need, you will be feeding your family. You will just make a double batch.

2. Think about their particular needs. Do they have food allergies? Are they elderly, possibly having difficulty chewing and swallowing? Do they have messy-eating toddlers? Is there a breastfeeding or pregnant mother who needs protein and fat to keep her from fading away into a little life-giving foggy-brained skeleton? Think of what they might need. If in doubt, ask! A great way to ask is to choose a few options from your list above, and let them order from your mini-menu.

3. If you live kind of far from each other, consider whether it might be possible to pair meal delivery with some other meetup. Worship, homeschool group, husband delivery, etc. You don’t always have to deliver it to their door. Yes, sometimes it’s necessary, and great when you can! But I’m trying to show how even a mom with five little ones can hop on the meal train without her own day falling apart.

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An Example

So now, I’m going to pull it all together and give last month’s example:

On Sunday, my husband learns someone was recently receiving high-risk medical treatment. That evening, I send a text and ask, I’d like to make you a meal this week, would that be alright? Our husbands are going to see each other on Tuesday night, so I tell her that I’ll send a pulled pork sandwich meal with the men.

Monday is my shopping day, so I buy my ingredients. I bake a batch of rolls, pre-slice a dozen, and bag them. The rest are for my family. I prep the green beans to cook tomorrow.

Tuesday morning I cook the pulled pork,⁵ baked beans, and green beans. This time, I decided to bake one pork shoulder in the oven, and another in the Instant Pot. This leaves an excess of pork that I can keep and freeze. (Because the oven is going low and slow, I do my own baked beans today instead of pouring a can into a pan. Please nobody judge me for my usual habit, but I’m not Southern so why would I be above canned baked beans??) I steam the green beans, toss with butter and garlic salt, and slice some fruit. When the pork is done, I pull it in the pan. I package everything with a bag of Kettle potato chips and send it with my husband for his evening meeting so they have a meal for tomorrow. My children and I sit down to dinner.

Now, I acknowledge: that family is not going to receive the meal while it’s hot out of the oven. But if that’s the only way anyone is going to take a meal from me, it’s never going to happen, because I have to feed my own family every night at 5 pm, too. As a meal train beneficiary, I would much, much rather eat a reheated homemade meal, or a ready-to-bake dish, than buy convenience food or serve up another pot of spaghetti, because, if I’m on a meal train, that’s all my options are at that point, anyway! I know I can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve always just been grateful whenever someone puts food in my house in a time of need.

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Meals for Many Occasions

Incidentally, a friend of mine who knew I hadn’t been feeling well texted me last week:

“I am planning to make a batch of enchiladas tomorrow and wondering if I can drop off a pan for your dinner? I'd be glad to!”

I cried a little bit and thanked God, and her, for answered prayers! The next day she came to my door with both a large foil pan, and a mini one that was cheese-less for my son with allergies (!!!), and some beef sticks just for me. It was such a blessing.

There are so many opportunities to provide meals for other women, including the 4 month sleep regression mark, first trimester, or just because it’s been a crazy week (endorsed by

Annelise Roberts

in discussion on this post). I have a friend who, over the past year, pretty much weekly provided dinner (and sibling childcare) to a mom whose daughter’s therapy appointments made the meal really tricky. I’ve been given meals when a friend knew I had to work a lot of hours that week, or when we were packing to move, or just because. Seeing someone in need and stepping in to help in a tangible way, even if it’s not the obvious immediate-postpartum period, is going to bless another woman more than you probably know. So, let’s take courage, keep it simple, be like my friends, and share a meal!

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If you’ve felt nervous to hop on the meal train, now you have some steps to get you there!

Add your comments and tips below:
What’s worked for you in the meal train, speaking from either the receiving or giving end?

What’s something that could have been better, speaking from either on the receiving or giving end?

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Coming Up:

May 16 in Feminine Fruitfulness:
Practicing Prudence Without “Planning” My Family: Reframing my understanding of the virtue

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1. To answer this question I always ask the next: Am I currently able to feed my own family? If the answer is not really, I usually try to either get that part of my life together, or just wait until the passage of that particular crazy season. Sometimes, feeding two families instead of one gets me out of the rut. I do, however, ban myself from jumping on meal trains during the first trimester of pregnancy, usually third trimester, and immediately postpartum.

2. I quarter apples immediately before delivery to prevent too much surface area browning, while keeping the fruit approachable.

3. Jesus said, I AM the Bread of Life, so I feel pretty confident in this one.

4. See this quick bread recipe. Also, in the past I liked to make some little peanut butter energy bites for a nursing mother. They’re easily snackable and nutrient-dense. This has stopped now that I have nut-allergic children in my home, and I do miss them.

5. I’m a big fan of the Instant Pot and I use this recipe (excuse the language, but the pork’s delicious). However, oven-baked does have superior flavor and texture. For that, I just rub and sear the meat as directed in recipe above, then bake, covered, in a large pan at 300 F until soft, probably three hours. Uncover, continue to bake until fall-apart perfection occurs, probably one hour.