I love this so much Leah. I commented in relation to this piece in another response to you elsewhere but I thought I'd paste the comment here too!
We are also 1.5 years into our last relocation but it wasn't until about 6 months ago that I began to actively build connections. Now I feel blessed that we have some very wholesome, organic relations here to nourish me in a way that Substack and social media usage never does. On the other hand, people like you and others in this circle here on Substack are just the kinds I wish I had in proximity here where I live. There are next to no stay-at-home / homeschooling young mums here and that has been a challenge for me as I yearn to build likeminded community. Hopefully I will be blessed with this kind of connection soon 🌷
Penelope, my heart goes out to you! There are so many of us in the same boat, praying for a sense of belonging, and aching for it even as we try to build it. There's a real grief there. I can't remember if you've mentioned it around here before, but, in theory, a church should be the best place to build this community. Sadly, it's not always the case. But I will include you in my prayers for these types of connections! In the meantime, the internet can be a reminder that you're not alone in your thinking and longing.
This was so timely for me. I chewed and swallowed every word. I’ve felt such homesickness lately. Sometimes I drown in it. I need to find energy to reach out and build connection but often I feel too depleted to do so. Meeting other mothers in such a season is overwhelming for sure. Thank you for writing.
I’m sorry to hear about the overwhelming homesickness, Carly. It can be so hard! And certain seasons really do make it hard to initiate, or to go out. But I do pray that something in here would encourage you. The love of Christ can comfort us in homesickness, and helps fill us up to look upon another. Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Carly.
Really thorough and thoughtful, Leah. This has been one of the biggest contributors of angst and frustration for me and our family since moving where we are. I currently still have a bad attitude about it, if I'm honest.. as my husband could tell you. Thanks for writing it.
I'm sorry to hear about the angst and frustration. Without knowing about your community, I can say that you are not alone. This post was borne out of some times of intense loneliness, and embodies the goals toward which I aim, but there have (always, throughout my life) been many moments of bad attitude toward whatever location and community God has given me. (I wasn't raised, and am not currently living, in some revival center of traditional Christian community. But here we build to that end!) I am praying that you and your family have been able to settle in a church which provides this, even if it's not exactly what you might have been envisioning. And that God comforts you and your family. There is a real grief in not having found your community, and God is there to hold it.
Edited to remove way too much extra response. Sorry about the novel!
So much good advice and wisdom here! As a naturally introspective, analytical person, I’ve had to learn these things the hard way. Life has been so much better when I’ve let loneliness drive me to connect with and care for others instead of retreating further into myself. Self-forgetfulness really is the answer.
I love your habits- the library, the neighbors. I do much the same but hadn’t thought about the reasons why the way you articulate it. Nicely done!
Jessica, yes, I can relate! “Self-forgetfulness” really is a gift to ourselves and others. I’m encouraged to hear of your habits…it felt silly to type them out because, well, it seems quite human to do these things. But many of us struggle with these interactions when raising young children or in a new community. I hope more women can be encouraged to look out for one another in kindness, rather than wallow in loneliness.
Thanks, Grace! Your piece was encouragement to me that I am not alone, and we all ought to work to connect with others, rather than sink into isolation.
Leah, I loved this so much. Your words are so kind and so true (and convicting!)--now I'm going to sit down and think about who I can reach out to today. Thank you.
I love this so much Leah. I commented in relation to this piece in another response to you elsewhere but I thought I'd paste the comment here too!
We are also 1.5 years into our last relocation but it wasn't until about 6 months ago that I began to actively build connections. Now I feel blessed that we have some very wholesome, organic relations here to nourish me in a way that Substack and social media usage never does. On the other hand, people like you and others in this circle here on Substack are just the kinds I wish I had in proximity here where I live. There are next to no stay-at-home / homeschooling young mums here and that has been a challenge for me as I yearn to build likeminded community. Hopefully I will be blessed with this kind of connection soon 🌷
Penelope, my heart goes out to you! There are so many of us in the same boat, praying for a sense of belonging, and aching for it even as we try to build it. There's a real grief there. I can't remember if you've mentioned it around here before, but, in theory, a church should be the best place to build this community. Sadly, it's not always the case. But I will include you in my prayers for these types of connections! In the meantime, the internet can be a reminder that you're not alone in your thinking and longing.
It has been helpful reflecting on this. When I reach for my phone, what do I really want?
And what's the better way of getting it? It's helped me put my phone away a lot more over the past 24 hours. Thanks for writing it!
What an encouragement, thank you!
This was so timely for me. I chewed and swallowed every word. I’ve felt such homesickness lately. Sometimes I drown in it. I need to find energy to reach out and build connection but often I feel too depleted to do so. Meeting other mothers in such a season is overwhelming for sure. Thank you for writing.
I’m sorry to hear about the overwhelming homesickness, Carly. It can be so hard! And certain seasons really do make it hard to initiate, or to go out. But I do pray that something in here would encourage you. The love of Christ can comfort us in homesickness, and helps fill us up to look upon another. Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Carly.
Really thorough and thoughtful, Leah. This has been one of the biggest contributors of angst and frustration for me and our family since moving where we are. I currently still have a bad attitude about it, if I'm honest.. as my husband could tell you. Thanks for writing it.
I'm sorry to hear about the angst and frustration. Without knowing about your community, I can say that you are not alone. This post was borne out of some times of intense loneliness, and embodies the goals toward which I aim, but there have (always, throughout my life) been many moments of bad attitude toward whatever location and community God has given me. (I wasn't raised, and am not currently living, in some revival center of traditional Christian community. But here we build to that end!) I am praying that you and your family have been able to settle in a church which provides this, even if it's not exactly what you might have been envisioning. And that God comforts you and your family. There is a real grief in not having found your community, and God is there to hold it.
Edited to remove way too much extra response. Sorry about the novel!
This is beautiful and true, Leah. Thank you. I’ll be sharing this with others.
Thank you, Emily. I pray it blesses whomever it finds.
Such amazing wisdom here. Thank you for this. Truly an act of public service <3
Thank you for the laugh! And the kind words. Praying it blesses the people who need the reminders even half as much as I do.
So much good advice and wisdom here! As a naturally introspective, analytical person, I’ve had to learn these things the hard way. Life has been so much better when I’ve let loneliness drive me to connect with and care for others instead of retreating further into myself. Self-forgetfulness really is the answer.
I love your habits- the library, the neighbors. I do much the same but hadn’t thought about the reasons why the way you articulate it. Nicely done!
Jessica, yes, I can relate! “Self-forgetfulness” really is a gift to ourselves and others. I’m encouraged to hear of your habits…it felt silly to type them out because, well, it seems quite human to do these things. But many of us struggle with these interactions when raising young children or in a new community. I hope more women can be encouraged to look out for one another in kindness, rather than wallow in loneliness.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment!
Thank you so much for the shout-out, Leah! I enjoyed reading your thoughts here.
Thanks, Grace! Your piece was encouragement to me that I am not alone, and we all ought to work to connect with others, rather than sink into isolation.
Leah, I loved this so much. Your words are so kind and so true (and convicting!)--now I'm going to sit down and think about who I can reach out to today. Thank you.
Shannon, thank you for the kind words. I am sure whomever you think of will be blessed by your thoughtfulness!